Everybody Deserves A Cupcake, Dammit

I promised I wouldn't complain about a certain topic, and I'm not.  Really.


I'm going to hypothesize and talk about... baking.  Suppose I baked... cupcakes for a living.  Yea, that's it.  And suppose I had a loan from a supplier for cake batter ingredients.  And another loan from the frosting ingredient company.  Go with me on this one. 

--Cute pics inserted for entertainment value--

See, totally entertaining, no?  You're welcome.

So I'm just trying to make some frosted cupcakes.  Nothing Earth shattering.  And suppose I needed the supplier of my cake batter to work WITH my supplier of frosting ingredients to help me out.  They had to come to an agreement to help me deal with my cupcake making needs.  Perhaps I was trying to give some cupcakes away to little orphans, and I needed them to give me a price break on the main ingredient.


Sugar.


And sugar is what they have in common.  Well imagine this.  The cake batter company wants to give the frosting idiots supplier more sugar than what they asked for.  You'd THINK they'd STFU and be happy about it, wouldn't you?  I mean, it's SUGAR.  Who doesn't like and want more SUGAR? 

Oh noooo, the frosting bastards jackwagons have to get all uppity about it and say NOOOOO, you can't give us THAT much sugar.  We wanted less.  WHY CAN'T THEY JUST ACCEPT IT, SAY THANK YOU, AND GO ON THEIR MERRY WAY?  No.  They are going to take WEEKS longer debating the amount of sugar each will give/accept.


*I* would be HAPPY to take the extra SUGAR.  I mean, WHO can't use EXTRA SUGAR????  But no, they are forbidden to give it to me.  Or they are too stupid to think of that resolution.


So now I'm wondering if those damn cupcakes are ever going to get baked.


Cause they sure as hell aren't getting frosted.

One last cute picture, to entertain you before you go.

P.S. -- the names of all applicable parties have been changed to protect the innocent.  Which is just about nobody in this plot.  Use your imagination.  Oh, and the orphans went hungry for frosted cupcakes which they were told they would receive but to date have not.

Some Day...

Top ten reasons why T *needs* an AC/DC pinball machine:

10.  This game is so much STINKING FUN!!!!  Look at this score--I killed it!

9.  It's AC/DC.  Does there need to BE another reason?

8. We have the PERFECT spot just ready for it in the living room.

7.  I stood in line TEN TIMES throughout the weekend in Dallas to play this awesome machine. It single handedly reignited my passion for pinball.

6.  There's a cannon. 'nuf said.

5.  TNT.  Get it?

4.  You get to pick your own theme song when you start your first ball from a jukebox style song list.

3. It brings back fond memories of the AC/DC concert my brother and I went to long ago. It was SO Rockin'!!!

2.  AC/DC and pinball go together like peanut butter and jelly!

And the number ONE reason why T needs and deserves an AC/DC pinball machine is:

1.  T is the coolest wife of all, and you *KNOW* it!

Oh, Hi There!

Where has March gone?  Someone tell me, cause I just don't understand.

Here is a miscellaneous list of updates starting with the best news first.

Abby's test results came back and the "large" bump removed from her nose is benign!  Super yippee for our little girl.  I can't explain why I wasn't worried, but for some reason I knew it wasn't anything to get my panties in a wad.  Bonus: she looks completely normal (this picture was taken pre-surgery but she looks the same).

We took Shadow to the vet for her very first vet visit ever.  That would be like an 80-year little old lady going to the Dr. for the very first time.  The up side?  She had no reason to fear the place.  "What's this?  A new place with nice people who pet me, take my temp in my ear instead of up my bum (which she has never experienced)?  Great, count me in!"  She got her shots, a treat, and some love from some nice people.  I don't think she will hate going back next year.

Needless to say, we found a local vet I really like.  And the best part about it is that we live in a SMALL town.  The vet bills?  Are SMALL too.  Annual visits for 3 dogs and the bill was about $200?  Really?  I'm never ever moving again.  Ever.  Quote me on that.

Speaking of little old ladies, on our way back from the TPF (Texas Pinball Festival) last weekend, we stopped on the turnpike at McD's for a bite to eat (there was nothing else available).  The bathrooms were super busy.  I walk in and tell Todd my order then head towards the back and think "crud, this little old lady being escorted by a little old man 5 people ahead of me can't move very fast. Patience, I must exercise patience".  So what else can I do?  I slowly follow the crowd into the bathroom. 

It's not the worst bathroom I've been in, but it's not new by any means.  After a few minutes, it's just 2 young teenage girls in front of me, and I think finally, I'll get there. 

All of a sudden I hear "Help, I need help".  I look at the girls in front of me and think to myself "self, with the look of utter panic and bone-chilling fear on the faces of these young'uns, I'm the only game in town".  So I walk back there and say something like "can I help you, ma'am?" 

Turns out, this little old lady had this hip brace thing on that straps around her waist and around one leg (around her thigh).  On top of her pants.  And she had to pee but couldn't get it off.  She HAD TO PEE.  So I wrestle (gently) around with the contraption, figure out how to get the leg brace unlocked, but unfortunately, she asked for help a little too late.  She said "I'm afraid I peed my pants" and she sure did (although I didn't feel anything through her clothes).  I felt so sorry for this poor little old lady who was obviously embarrassed by her predicament.  I helped her down onto the toilet. 

She told me her hubby needs to get her some clean undies.  I go out to see if I can find the little old man who had hobbled along with her to the bathroom door, and I don't see him.  Fortunately another lady (good-Samaritan #2) realized what was going on and told me that she would find him and get the undies.

So I go back in.  Did I mention I had to pee?  So I go real fast in the stall next to the little old lady, and I yell over that I'm right there, don't worry.  I text Todd so he doesn't think there is some Texas Chainsaw Massacre happening in the women's bathroom, and then I come out of my stall.  I was shocked to open my door and see her standing there butt naked from the waist down.  Cause she had peed herself.  She said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." to which I said it's OK.  She said that she's diabetic and that doesn't help the situation.  I told her it will all be OK, let me go see what's holding up the panties.  I go out and I see a family of PEOPLE looking through bags in a car.  THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY NO CLEAN PANTIES BECAUSE NOBODY IS WALKING BACK IN.  But then this teenage girl starts walking back to grandma.  Or great-grandma.  I ask good-Samaritan #2 what the status of the undies are and she said the girl is a relative. 

SERIOUSLY?  THERE IS A FEMALE RELATIVE AND SHE DIDN'T HELP HER OWN GRANDMOTHER?  WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?  Old people do not have cooties.  The "old" isn't contagious.  It may be inevitable if you're lucky, but it isn't contagious.  It's not UNCOOL to be seen helping your elderly relative--it's called BEING A HUMAN BEING.

I thought about it for a split second, and I thought if this teenage girl is this helpless, that elderly lady may need more help, I want to make sure she is OK.  So I went back to grandma and asked "Is that girl a relative, are you OK now?" and she said "oh yes, thank you so much".  I tell her to take care.  I am now excused.

POINT OF MY STORY:  I'm going to be old some day.  I hope to God I don't pee my pants in a dagnabit McD's of all places.  But I hope and pray that your granddaughters will be kind enough to help me in my hour of need.  I am confident anyone reading my blog will raise women responsible enough to help an elderly senior citizen.  I promise, I wont have cooties.
   
I'll update you on TPF from last weekend soon, complete with pics. A real good time was had by all...  However it did take me a couple of nights to stop worrying about that little old lady.

I gave blood last Friday!  I'm really happy I did it.  I am beginning to recognize the regular phlebotomists.  It's the same group who comes to my place of work to collect blood every 2 months.  It was absolutely painless (well, a tiny sting, but it was nothing, really) and I have no bruise.  Totally worth saving up to 3 lives.

I spent yesterday planting plants and doing yard work.  YOU GUYS, it did NOT require a devil's fork and crow bar, there was NO SAND, I only encountered 2 small dinky pebbles, NO boulders, PLENTY of earth worms, and I got to play in DIRT.  REAL DIRT.  You have no idea how completely giddy I was after planting 8 clumps of maiden grass in just a few hours (NOT DAYS).  I am so happy to be back in farm country again.  My nails wont be clean until October.  And I'm happy about it!

Here is the grass I planted (there had been 3 established clumps, now there is a total of 11 clumps):

Also planted yesterday were: onions, potatoes, and asparagus.  Today the blackberry and raspberries were planted. 

April, bring on the rain!

Super Yay For Vacation!

So my definition of vacation is a loose interpretation of what you might call a vacation. 1) Not going to work. 2) Doing something I have planned. 3) May or may not include travel. I can have a vacation day in my own backyard and be very happy about it. I'm on vacation right now! And we are going somewhere!! To do something fun!!! This weekend is our yearly adventure to Dallas, TX to a pinball festival. I get to play pinball with friends All. Weekend. Long. Besides the fact that I took off of work, I get to eat, drink, and play pinball with a big group of friends. So excited this weekend is finally here! Also I feel like karma is finally getting her act together. I have a friend who had an awesome interview for her dream job. She deserves something really substantially good to happen to her. Another friend is running her first 10K, so proud of her accomplishment. Now for another of my dearest friends ever to sell her house and get her family together in the same state. Come on Karma, keep the good things flowing.

Breakfast

MMMMmmmm, behold the power of BACON

Hot, crisp, apple-wood smoked, thick-cut, substantial bacon:

Next comes a deliciously delightful and practically magical Dutch Baby Pancake:

Sinfully simple to make at home.  (I recommend cutting the salt in half; and I'm making a luscious lemon version next time.)

One perfectly fried over-easy egg later, and Voila!

The complete package--breakfast fit for a queen.  (Don't drool on your keyboard.)

Survivors

Happy Saturday to you!  For having had a pretty crappy week, I'm in a great mood.  That is probably because my baby girl is doing really well.  Or I put extra sugar in my coffee.  You know how I am about my sweets.

I didn't tell you, Internet, but Abby had surgery yesterday and she is doing better than I ever expected!  Todd noticed a hard wart-like bump Friday before last.  Much different than any other bump she has.  So we chose a vet and got her in right away.  One week after seeing it, we had it removed.  Actually noticed a skin tag around her eye getting really big too, and we don't want her vision impaired.  Poor girl has cataracts, she doesn't need anything else impacting her vision.  I wasn't nervous about the surgery until after lunch time, and I realized I had not physically heard "all is good".  So Todd called, then I called.  Still in surgery.  WTF?  So a little after 2pm (picking her up at 4!), we heard the all-is-clear message.  Whew.  That's our baby girl I am talking about.  The spring in Todd's step.  The sass in our house!

I giggled to myself a little when I called the vet.  "Yes, this is Abby's mom, calling to check on her"--like all the other moms I hear making calls from their desk phones.  Of course, they know I'm talking about my dog.  ;-)

See?  You can barely tell.  She looks FABULOUS!  They are testing the large mass they took off her snout, we'll see what the results are.  I'm sure it's benign and all is well.  There is a little stitch at the outer corner of her eye, and about 4 or 5 stitches on her snout:

Tullybird just went through the same thing with her baby girl, so I was confident mine would be just fine too.  I hate putting furry loved ones under anesthesia.

Speaking of Tullybird:  SHE'S COMING TO SEE ME!  I'm so excited I could pee my pants.  When I left NV, I told her "you know you are going to have to come see me, cause I'm never coming back here".  To which she replied that she realized that.  So now, she's coming to see me!  Our close bond is surviving the challenge of distance.

I'm making a list of the bead shops and cooking stores we will hit.  We must visit my friends, Ray & Becky, at  Mission Fresh Fashion (and she will love the store), and take her to meet Kevin & Suzie and girls.  We have to eat Z-man sandwiches at Oklahoma Joe's.  What else is KC... I will have to ponder this agenda.  We have 5 days in May to goof off.  Oh the joy!  Pics of Booze-N-Beads will surely be posted.

Other visitors I am super excited about--SamsMom is going to be in the area Memorial Day weekend and I will go see her tons!  Can't wait to see her family & watch her talented son play baseball.  I'm going to sneak her away from the ball field to take her on her virgin voyage to LUSH.  WAHOO!  Talk about a friendship surviving decades.  DECADES!!

Speaking of a friendship surviving decades, I believe Jus is back home (or in transit, I'm not sure) from Afghanistan and wants to come up and see me!  I remember talking to her on the phone before she deployed, and I told her my goal was to be back in the mid-west before she got back.  Viola, I'm here!  Can't wait to hear all about her adventures in person.  She's a real survivor, that one.  To just up and go into the military and go off and serve like she has.  Wow. 

I am so excited to connect with so many awesome women! 

 
Spring has sprung, and I want to share my special flower with ya'll.  This is a bulb that was planted at our house back in KC before our Great-Migration-West.  I took this puppy with me*.  It actually multiplied in NV sand, amazingly--talk about "surviving".  Any plant that made it the 4.5 years we were there was a true survivor.  When we left, I dug it up and MAILED IT TO MY MOTHER.  So it's been to Oklahoma too.  I planted it last fall.  Now it has a happy home in Missouri:

So you may be saying to yourself, "Self?  That just looks like an ordinary hyacinth.  What's so special that she'd dig it up and plant it in 3 different states?".  Well, let me tell you what this specific bulb symbolizes to me.  *This was Roscoe's flower. 

Amber was not our first golden.  We had two wonderful dogs before Amber.  Todd's first son was Roscoe.  When Roscoe passed away in February of 2003, our Uncle Frank and Aunt Judy, who we are super close to and who actually knew Roscoe, sent us a condolence blooming bulb arrangement.  It was the sweetest thing ever.  I planted those bulbs, and the lone survivor of that assortment, is this very hyacinth.

I'll tell you some day about Roscoe.  And about his mom.  But not quite yet.  I still choke up every time I think of them.  Probably always will.

Anyway, one last pic of a few true survivors.  You might have thought I was a little crazy last fall when I tried to plant a garden so late in the season.  Guess what?  I may not have gotten anything to grow much last fall.  But now?  I have volunteer RADISHES!