Oh, Hi There!

Where has March gone?  Someone tell me, cause I just don't understand.

Here is a miscellaneous list of updates starting with the best news first.

Abby's test results came back and the "large" bump removed from her nose is benign!  Super yippee for our little girl.  I can't explain why I wasn't worried, but for some reason I knew it wasn't anything to get my panties in a wad.  Bonus: she looks completely normal (this picture was taken pre-surgery but she looks the same).

We took Shadow to the vet for her very first vet visit ever.  That would be like an 80-year little old lady going to the Dr. for the very first time.  The up side?  She had no reason to fear the place.  "What's this?  A new place with nice people who pet me, take my temp in my ear instead of up my bum (which she has never experienced)?  Great, count me in!"  She got her shots, a treat, and some love from some nice people.  I don't think she will hate going back next year.

Needless to say, we found a local vet I really like.  And the best part about it is that we live in a SMALL town.  The vet bills?  Are SMALL too.  Annual visits for 3 dogs and the bill was about $200?  Really?  I'm never ever moving again.  Ever.  Quote me on that.

Speaking of little old ladies, on our way back from the TPF (Texas Pinball Festival) last weekend, we stopped on the turnpike at McD's for a bite to eat (there was nothing else available).  The bathrooms were super busy.  I walk in and tell Todd my order then head towards the back and think "crud, this little old lady being escorted by a little old man 5 people ahead of me can't move very fast. Patience, I must exercise patience".  So what else can I do?  I slowly follow the crowd into the bathroom. 

It's not the worst bathroom I've been in, but it's not new by any means.  After a few minutes, it's just 2 young teenage girls in front of me, and I think finally, I'll get there. 

All of a sudden I hear "Help, I need help".  I look at the girls in front of me and think to myself "self, with the look of utter panic and bone-chilling fear on the faces of these young'uns, I'm the only game in town".  So I walk back there and say something like "can I help you, ma'am?" 

Turns out, this little old lady had this hip brace thing on that straps around her waist and around one leg (around her thigh).  On top of her pants.  And she had to pee but couldn't get it off.  She HAD TO PEE.  So I wrestle (gently) around with the contraption, figure out how to get the leg brace unlocked, but unfortunately, she asked for help a little too late.  She said "I'm afraid I peed my pants" and she sure did (although I didn't feel anything through her clothes).  I felt so sorry for this poor little old lady who was obviously embarrassed by her predicament.  I helped her down onto the toilet. 

She told me her hubby needs to get her some clean undies.  I go out to see if I can find the little old man who had hobbled along with her to the bathroom door, and I don't see him.  Fortunately another lady (good-Samaritan #2) realized what was going on and told me that she would find him and get the undies.

So I go back in.  Did I mention I had to pee?  So I go real fast in the stall next to the little old lady, and I yell over that I'm right there, don't worry.  I text Todd so he doesn't think there is some Texas Chainsaw Massacre happening in the women's bathroom, and then I come out of my stall.  I was shocked to open my door and see her standing there butt naked from the waist down.  Cause she had peed herself.  She said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." to which I said it's OK.  She said that she's diabetic and that doesn't help the situation.  I told her it will all be OK, let me go see what's holding up the panties.  I go out and I see a family of PEOPLE looking through bags in a car.  THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY NO CLEAN PANTIES BECAUSE NOBODY IS WALKING BACK IN.  But then this teenage girl starts walking back to grandma.  Or great-grandma.  I ask good-Samaritan #2 what the status of the undies are and she said the girl is a relative. 

SERIOUSLY?  THERE IS A FEMALE RELATIVE AND SHE DIDN'T HELP HER OWN GRANDMOTHER?  WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?  Old people do not have cooties.  The "old" isn't contagious.  It may be inevitable if you're lucky, but it isn't contagious.  It's not UNCOOL to be seen helping your elderly relative--it's called BEING A HUMAN BEING.

I thought about it for a split second, and I thought if this teenage girl is this helpless, that elderly lady may need more help, I want to make sure she is OK.  So I went back to grandma and asked "Is that girl a relative, are you OK now?" and she said "oh yes, thank you so much".  I tell her to take care.  I am now excused.

POINT OF MY STORY:  I'm going to be old some day.  I hope to God I don't pee my pants in a dagnabit McD's of all places.  But I hope and pray that your granddaughters will be kind enough to help me in my hour of need.  I am confident anyone reading my blog will raise women responsible enough to help an elderly senior citizen.  I promise, I wont have cooties.
   
I'll update you on TPF from last weekend soon, complete with pics. A real good time was had by all...  However it did take me a couple of nights to stop worrying about that little old lady.

I gave blood last Friday!  I'm really happy I did it.  I am beginning to recognize the regular phlebotomists.  It's the same group who comes to my place of work to collect blood every 2 months.  It was absolutely painless (well, a tiny sting, but it was nothing, really) and I have no bruise.  Totally worth saving up to 3 lives.

I spent yesterday planting plants and doing yard work.  YOU GUYS, it did NOT require a devil's fork and crow bar, there was NO SAND, I only encountered 2 small dinky pebbles, NO boulders, PLENTY of earth worms, and I got to play in DIRT.  REAL DIRT.  You have no idea how completely giddy I was after planting 8 clumps of maiden grass in just a few hours (NOT DAYS).  I am so happy to be back in farm country again.  My nails wont be clean until October.  And I'm happy about it!

Here is the grass I planted (there had been 3 established clumps, now there is a total of 11 clumps):

Also planted yesterday were: onions, potatoes, and asparagus.  Today the blackberry and raspberries were planted. 

April, bring on the rain!