Not Even Ice Cream

Today was not a good day.

It started by my leaving a little later than I would have liked.  Maybe if I had been semi-on-time, my day would have been better?!

Yea, maybe.

I left our driveway and started to drive down the road we live on.  And then I had to stop and just stare.  A posse of dogs was meandering around the side of the road.

There, lying on the side of the road was the little-shit-weasle-barky-dog who had obviously been hit by a car.  It looked stiff.  I felt so sad and it shook me to my core.  

It was in front of our neighbor's house.  Their truck was home so I pulled in.  I rang the door bell and hoped they may have seen who did it.  How could someone just kill a dog and drive off?  Maybe my neighbor knows the asshats behind us who own the dog and could at least call and tell them.  You know, presuming they would care.  My neighbors weren't home.  It broke my heart to see all the 'hood dogs staring in disbelief wondering what happened.  I started crying watching Nyla sniff his body.

So I called my hubby who started calling neighbors we know.  I went on to work.  Fortunately, the wife of a guy we know waaaaaaay over yonder could get in touch with them.  After an hour or so, I got a text that a car was up there and they were dealing with it.

It makes me So. Stinking. Mad. that those despicable and irresponsible people can own a dog.  They got this little barky guy to keep their German Shepherd company.  But he is so little, he just runs through the fence and they are so STUPID they just let it wander.  Now that damn little dog paid the ultimate price.  It's not fair.  It deserved GOOD owners who gave a shit.

I've always disliked that dog because it barked, but I never wanted to see it harmed.  They will probably get ANOTHER dog to be a "playmate" for their completely neglected, ignored, and lonely shepherd.  Don't they know that you can't isolate a German Shepherd?  It's probably slightly demented from having been chained up before they so "lovingly" put up a prison fence.

I hope I never meet those horrible people in person, because I have a feeling my true opinion of what I think of them will come spewing forth.

Ice cream isn't even enough to save this day.

Those Wild Animals, And Zoo Animals Too!

We went to the Omaha zoo last weekend for my company picnic.  I heard lots of great things about it.  So, I had high expectations.  

WTF were we thinking?  Seriously.  It was a Saturday, of all days to go.  And the very Saturday before most kids went back to school nonetheless.  At least it was a mild day in the upper 80s, I believe.  But still.  It's been a long time since I have been to a zoo.  I love animals.  More than most people, if I'm totally being honest.  No offense.  So I thought it would be great.  

I do have to admit that I have a hangup about most zoos.  Caging animals make me sad.  But then I think of the situation like the 3 legged big cat, who would have died if the zoo hadn't taken her (and she has had at least 3 litters, so how awesome is that?).  So that makes me happy.  And I think, surely marine critters are "happy" because water is water and they are safe.  But I wonder, how bored are they really?  Swimming around in the same circle probably does get old.

The Omaha zoo has an aquarium, so I thought at least that would be neat to see, and I will not be sad to look at those animals.  Penguins are hysterical to watch.  I think you could have two of them in a box and they would entertain one another.  So I thought that would be fun.

Think again.

About 3pm, every person in that zoo under the age of 10 had a catastrophic melt down.  I'm not kidding.  And I was a witness To. It. All.  It was not a pretty sight.  We had 4pm tickets to see the 3D Imax film called Kenya.  It was OK.  I kept dosing off because I too *needed* a nap.

Anyway, we tried to hit the aquarium an hour before the movie, and that just wasn't going to happen.  Mid-afternoon is peak time for visitors to any attraction.  Note to self: remember that next time.  We walked into the building and peeked at the puffins.  We turned around and I swear every stroller sold in the US was in that lobby accompanied by every adult owner and kid in tow.  I suddenly felt claustrophobic in an uncontrollable sense.  I knew the aisles to maneuver through the exhibit would be narrow and dark at times because we had just visited the Desert dome.  I felt like salmon swimming upstream to spawn as I walked back OUT of the one-way-only crowd to get the heck out of there.  

Never again.

But we did have a GREAT time in Omaha.  Holy cow town, that city is FUN!  We stayed at the Hilton, which was the newest & biggest hotel, and it's in the downtown area.   There were SO MANY restaurants and shops within walking distance.  It was amazing!  We can't wait to go back.  But we'll skip the zoo, thank you very much.

Highlights of the weekend include seeing an aardvark dig a hole (highlight of the zoo experience by far, that hole was cool).  They leashed this guy like a dog!  They bring him or his buddy out on Wed. and Sat. afternoons, because "they like to dig".  That is pretty neat!

The dirt was flying out of that hole!

This Aardvark didn't want to leave his hole-digging adventure

 

Leashed for a walk, just like a dog

This guy was BIG

I didn't take a picture of the actual hole, but it was pretty large and he was starting to curve around in the hole so pulling him out, if the leash had been any longer would have been more difficult.  Can you imagine if he had gotten free?  He would have tunneled his way right out of there.


Did you know, and aardvark is not closely related to an anteater although they look alike?  They naturally live on different continents.  I learned that tidbit from the lady announcing what was happening.  So at least I learned something.

Spots on a giraffe are like finger prints... no two are alike.  I learned that, too.

See all those people?!?

Cool birds with a funny name, but sadly I don't remember it

This little guy looked pissed off

Cute little things, whatever they were

Snapping box turtles, I believe

LOVE this guy

Burrowing owl--he was actually trying to burrow under the shavings on the ground

hoot hoot

beep beep

Massive desert tortoise, he was massive

So most of our pics are from the Desert Dome, go figure.

And now for the BEST THING I EVER ATE in Omaha, we learned about this place on an episode of Shark Tank. eCreamery is the best ice cream, I think I've ever eaten in my life.  It was AMAZING.  Todd, who does not have an affection for sweets, got a dip and LOVED it too!  It will make non-sweets-loving people into ice cream fans, this stuff is THAT good.

I was giddy with anticipation as we found the store.

My cone: Cherry Cheesecake on the bottom; S'mores on the top.

So happy to finally have it!

Fun ice cream bars too!

I went in expecting to love the Sea Salt Caramel with Chocolate-Covered Pretzels flavor and I tried it.  But the pretzels were chewy and the texture left me scratching my head.  The sea salt caramel ice cream was good, but I didn't care for the pretzels.  

So I tried the Cherry Cheesecake and instantly loved it.  The cheesecake flavored ice cream was dreamy, and the tartness of the cherries positively made me happy in contrast to the sweet cream.  There was a bit too much graham cracker chunks for me, but I could easily pull them out.  

The other flavor I decided on without even trying was S'mores.  That day happened to be National S'mores Day, so it was like an omen.  When I ordered that flavor, the guy behind the counter said that was the staff favorite flavor.  It is marshmallow flavored ice cream with graham crackers and chocolate chunks.  The graham crackers were even dispersed throughout and very "mixed in" so I actually liked that part.  The chocolate chunks were nice because they weren't too big and did melt in my mouth when I was eating it, in contrast to the cold cream.  VERY, VERY good stuff.  This is what Todd got a scoop of too, and thoroughly enjoyed it.

So if you ever find yourself in Omaha, you gotta try the place.  You will be happy you did.

I'll blog later about our dinner and shopping the next day.  Just wait and see what we bought.

Karma

Ever think about why things happen?  Some odd things have happened lately, and some of it just has me scratching my head.

A lady who is not the best driver, which will be apparent to you soon enough, was allegedly driving slow in a parking lot.  The early morning sun was glaring right into the driver's eyes.  Since she couldn't see, she just went real slow.  Guess what she did?  She hit someone.  Not a car.  Some BODY.  She hit a body.  A lady was hit by a car in a parking lot I frequently utilize.  I come walking up and see this lady out cold on the parking lot pavement surrounded by other people and I wonder what happened as I hear sirens in the near distance getting louder and louder.  Someone told me she had been struck by a car. 

Ladies and gents, if the sun is in your eyes, please don't drive real slow.  Find a way to see, or don't drive at all.  And if you are in a parking lot, please don't presume that others can see you.  You know, survival of the fittest and all isn't really working these days.  I hate to judge, but I just can't help myself. 

Now for something a little less dramatic.

I have a brand new cellophane wrapped multi-pack of stamps.  You know the kind you get at Coscto, with like 5 books of stamps.  So that would be 100 stamps, right?  One would think.  I've had this book of stamps on my dresser for oh, 6 months or more.  They are forever stamps, so I'm not in a hurry to use them.  I opened the pack this past weekend because I had something to mail.  I take the first book and pull off the divider stickers because I like to fold it up, and I pull off a stamp and affix it to my envelope.

Then I did a double-take.  What the aych-ee-double-pipes?  At the bottom of the strip of stamps, there is another empty hole.  I only had ONE ENVELOPE TO MAIL.  It's not like my mind played tricks on me and I USED two stamps and I just didn't remember it.  No.  THERE WAS AN UNEXPECTED HOLE ON MY STRIP OF BRAND NEW STAMPS.  The paper was there, but it's like the machine didn't put the sticker on it.  

You know what else?  I checked my other 4 books of stamps.  I have ANOTHER book that is missing TWO IN A ROW.  I kept the cellophane, because my hubby will take them back.  He is very good at confrontation and he will get them to believe that we didn't just "take" the stamps and then claim there were 3 blanks.  Because I'm thinking this story sounds so ridiculous, who is going to believe it?

Karma is going to somehow repay me for 3 stamp shortages.  I just hope Karma doesn't somehow make me pay for passing judgement on a bad driver.

 

And now for something a little more dramatic.

Speaking of Costco, I have to share my favorite Costco story of all time.  There is a karmic twist to it, at least in my opinion.

I hate lazy, careless, disrespectful, self-absorbed slobs who have enough energy to get their slothful butts off the couch to drive to and walk into a store, such as Costco, and walk all around shopping and stuffing their pie holes with free samples, waiting in line to check out, and walking ALL the way back to their cars to store their purchases.  You'd think they could muster up enough energy to take their dagblasted carts back to a corral.  They have enough cart corrals scattered all over (dangerous) parking lots, you'd think they could SEE them.  But no.  Apparently they have lost all of their energy right then and there at their car, so they better hurry up and get home to replace their lazy, selfish butts back in their barcaloungers. 

If you think this is a hot button for me, you'd be right.

Flash backwards, about 7 or 8 years.  Todd and I were visiting our favorite Costco in the KC area.  I'd been witnessing the atrocious behaviour of sloths everywhere, and I'd had it.  When 2 inconsiderate ladies left their cart IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT, not even pushed up to a bush or tree, I said something.  I don't know what I said.  I'm sure it had the word lazy in it.

Anyhoo, we walk up to Costco, and you know what they did?  They drove right up and rolled down their window and confronted us back.  Game on.  You think we were going to take some guff off two lazy inconsiderate witches?  No way.  I do remember them asking what's it to us and we said it's inconsiderate, other people's cars are parked out there and they are so lazy and self-absorbed they couldn't take 5 seconds to actually exercise and take the cart to where it belonged.  They continued to argue.  Teehee.

Really?  HOW could we be wrong?  THEY LEFT THEIR CART IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT!!!!  They continued to argue.  I saw my husband.  He started getting antsy and annoyed with the mindless twits who couldn't understand simple logic.  And then I saw his thumbs.  He started thumbing his stretchy pants waist band.

And then, he did it.

He slowly turned around, bent over, and mooned them.  I'm not talking just a little white cheek.  I'm talking they probably saw balls.

To which they said "Oh nice", rolled up their window and drove away.  We may have let them have the last word, but I had the last laugh.  I laughed my butt off for HOURS over that.  I still get myself worked into a laughing frenzy when I think about it, SO MANY YEARS LATER.  Now that was karma at work--when they leave their carts in a parking lot, and you know they still do, you also know what they are remembering.

Think about it--somewhere some security dude watched Todd moon a car.  We thought about shopping faster in case they wanted to ticket him for indecent exposure.

And this picture?  The very store.
 

Scene of the crime, right here

Freedom

Here is a riddle for you.

What requires:

• OVER a year

• 3 buyers and 4 offers (not counting counter offers)

• Correspondence and several calls to a senators office, not once but... TWICE

• Countless DAILY calls from me to check progress/status

• The involvement of someone from the office of the CEO/president of one of the companies

• One very used Trac phone

• A miracle of pulling off notarized documents with 3 business hours of opportunity left on the last day (seriously, they HAD to see this coming?!?)

• Stress of sweating it over papers clearing customs

• The relentlessness of a bone-or-ball-obsessed dog (who doesn't know how to quit)

• The patience of a saint

• And a check I've been dying to write

Answer: my freedom

Finally the albatross is gone.

Everybody Deserves A Cupcake, Dammit

I promised I wouldn't complain about a certain topic, and I'm not.  Really.


I'm going to hypothesize and talk about... baking.  Suppose I baked... cupcakes for a living.  Yea, that's it.  And suppose I had a loan from a supplier for cake batter ingredients.  And another loan from the frosting ingredient company.  Go with me on this one. 

--Cute pics inserted for entertainment value--

See, totally entertaining, no?  You're welcome.

So I'm just trying to make some frosted cupcakes.  Nothing Earth shattering.  And suppose I needed the supplier of my cake batter to work WITH my supplier of frosting ingredients to help me out.  They had to come to an agreement to help me deal with my cupcake making needs.  Perhaps I was trying to give some cupcakes away to little orphans, and I needed them to give me a price break on the main ingredient.


Sugar.


And sugar is what they have in common.  Well imagine this.  The cake batter company wants to give the frosting idiots supplier more sugar than what they asked for.  You'd THINK they'd STFU and be happy about it, wouldn't you?  I mean, it's SUGAR.  Who doesn't like and want more SUGAR? 

Oh noooo, the frosting bastards jackwagons have to get all uppity about it and say NOOOOO, you can't give us THAT much sugar.  We wanted less.  WHY CAN'T THEY JUST ACCEPT IT, SAY THANK YOU, AND GO ON THEIR MERRY WAY?  No.  They are going to take WEEKS longer debating the amount of sugar each will give/accept.


*I* would be HAPPY to take the extra SUGAR.  I mean, WHO can't use EXTRA SUGAR????  But no, they are forbidden to give it to me.  Or they are too stupid to think of that resolution.


So now I'm wondering if those damn cupcakes are ever going to get baked.


Cause they sure as hell aren't getting frosted.

One last cute picture, to entertain you before you go.

P.S. -- the names of all applicable parties have been changed to protect the innocent.  Which is just about nobody in this plot.  Use your imagination.  Oh, and the orphans went hungry for frosted cupcakes which they were told they would receive but to date have not.

Total Waste Of Makeup

Well today has been a total waste of makeup.

Pretty much a crappy day worthy of THREE items from my CDP.  It was that bad. 

1) had to work on my annual goals--I hate this with a passion.  Can't I just work hard and they just take care of me because my awesomeness just shines through in every way?  No?  You mean I gotta document this crap? 

2) our local storage area a mile down the road was broken into.  Really upset that our post hole digger THAT WE NEED TO USE IN A MONTH TO BUILD A FENCE AROUND THE GARDEN along with the power washer and a few other items were stolen.  I just can't even go there.

I have very pretty new nail polish in fabulous colors to use now (one blue, one green).  I must go find a new place for my new hot-pad in very bright gorgeous colors.

Good riddance, Wednesday.

Bitchy Post Warning

I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE mortgage companies.  It's all attributable to one reason.  They are unpredictable.  If they were *consistent* in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, this blog post wouldn't be happening.  I am TIRED of them jacking us around.  Oh, we want this, oh no, that person dropped the ball so, here's another person to deal with.  And oh, since WE missed OUR deadline for responding because we are SOOOOOOO busy, here's another form for YOU to sign.  So that it looks like we did our job on time.  BUT THEY DID NOT DO THEIR JOB ON TIME.  They aren't even DOING IT.

I hate, loathe, and despise those unpredictably horrible bastards with a deep rooted passion to rival all others.

And the worst part?  I'm completely powerless.  Absolutely nothing I can do.  I can't wait for the day I can stop feeling this emotion.  It really isn't good.  Oh, but then who knows when THAT day will come.  It's not like I'm going through a PREDICTABLE process.  Fuckers.

And The Answer Is...

I recently asked a Trivia Question.  And the answer is...


My DISH-WASHING DRAWER!!!!  So Mrs. Irritation, it was in the kitchen, and it did relate to water.

I am NOT a fan of a "dishwasher drawer".  It's the "special" kind where you basically have 2 dishwashers in the space of one.  Do you know what that means?  Neither are big enough for even a small cookie sheet, so that means hand washing way too many things.  WTH is up with that?  Plus, the bottom of each drawer collects a serious amount of water that just sits there growing calcium deposits and mold.  It was the most disgusting thing I have ever cleaned.  Except that one time Roscoe got sick all over the living room, but he couldn't help it.  This whole dishwasher fiasco COULD HAVE BEEN HELPED had the previous homeowners ever cleaned the dang thing.  The stalactite calcium deposits, or whatever they were on the bottom of the metal plate at the bottom of the drawer, were so old, disgusting, and prevalent, that THEY WIGGLED.  Todd had to take the metal plate outside and pressure wash it.  Then I got to continue scrubbing.  This took 3 hours, 10 rubber gloves, 12 toothpicks, 1.5 rolls of paper towels, and one GALLON of vinegar to clean.  I only did the bigger drawer.  I have not cleaned the smaller one and I refuse to use it.  Disgusting.  I did the dishwasher-buildup-cleaner you can buy at home improvements stores today.  Had one of these been used each YEAR over the past SEVERAL years, it may have been a worthy cause.

On my list of things to buy... a normal dishwasher.  These drawers can go back to Australia.  I could kick whoever thought of this BRILLIANT idea.  They obviously eat out.

I Hate Roses Because Of Thorns

And honestly, they stink to me. I do not like the smell of most flowers. Roses hold no appeal to me because they hurt and they stink. There's one pretty part, but when you have to prune and care for the plant, it hurts you. Kind of like today's big mortgage companies. We try to do the right thing, and all they do is hurt us.

We had a buyer. It's no secret that the WORST state to own property in right now is NV, and if you are selling, it's at a major deficit unless you bought it over 15 years ago, then you might be breaking even. One particular bank wouldn't accept the short sale offer, they wanted more money. The potential buyer came up a tiny bit. Nope, the big bad mortgage company would not budge off of their dollar figure. They are not HERE. They aren't getting what it's like to BE here. My agent said there has been another slump in the market and the mortgage companies always play catch up because they base what they do on the past, and are never really up to date with what is currently happening. Reality is all I'm asking for, and reasonableness. They are letting that buyer walk. And we are leaving. We only had ONE offer; it's not like people were lined up at the door.

What incentive does a mortgage company have to have a homeowner? None. They are made whole no matter what. So when houses sit empty, they don't care--they aren't losing anything. And let me tell you something else. Those so called "government programs" are a frickin' joke. Nobody qualifies for them, and if you jump through all their hoops to try to play their game because you meet ALL of the qualifying criteria, and you could BE the poster child for whatever program, they just screw you around. Because guess who's administering the programs???? Those Bunch Of Asswipes and CHArlatans who can't even communicate within their own damn series of companies. And WHAT is their profit margin again?

What Positive Side?

Why do I as a consumer have NO RIGHTS?  Why am I at the complete mercy of a huge, messed-up, inefficient, ineffective, completely incompetent financial services company?  Let's just call them for the sake of this rant, a bunch of asswipes.  As of today, they didn't even have our short sale "in their system".  It's like the last 30 days NEVER HAPPENED, to them.  Meanwhile, I literally have the days adding up on a big wall sized poster, because those buffoons have my life on hold.  This is so unfair.  They have so many different companies within their global empire, and so many departments within their companies, that they can't communicate.  And who pays for their incompetence?  Me.  Every day.  I wont go into the details here, because what the hell does it matter?  Not one damn bit.  I just have to keep taking it.  As they deal it out.  However they see fit, whenever they think about getting around to it.  I hate asswipes.  It's like using grainy, thin, practically-unprocessed, bargain-basement toilet paper on a big throbbing, bleeding hemorrhoid.  I wish I had a preparation-H pad big enough to wipe all the pain away they have ever caused.  But that isn't possible.

This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass.  Just like a painful bowel movement.

Can They Make Segregated Baggage Returns, One Just For Dumb People?

I know I'm not going to offend any of my friends with kids, cause y'all are smarter than this.  I'm not even going to go into the safety issues I have with this topic.  You're welcome.

There are some places kids shouldn't be allowed to play.  I personally think public restrooms should be at the top of the list (because ewwwww, that is just gross!), followed closely by a crowded airport luggage carousel.  I don't care how cute that stupid couple THOUGHT their kids were yesterday, when they *have* to be up front waiting on a bag and there isn't an inch of space to spare in the first place with all the adults jockeying for position, something is wrong.  I can understand if there was plenty of free space, or if it was a single parent (I'd never leave a kid alone even picking up a bag in a crowd).  The dad was staying back about 10 feet (possibly trying to act like he wasn't with them?).  The mom was like 2 feet behind the kids.  The 5 year old and probably 7 year old couldn't have lifted that damn bag if they had wanted to.  And to make it even worse, their bag didn't even come out on THAT carousel.

I think luggage carousels may have a WIFI dim-wit feature picked up internally by stupid parents.  Some parents get there, and all common sense goes right out the automatic sliding doors before they even think about walking through them.  There was another trip I took a few months ago, and in a crowded area, the two parents let their kids run from one end to the other as fast as they could.  They actually encouraged the competition.  What is WRONG with those people?  They almost took out one old lady.  And you knew it was going to happen.  The little one tripped, skinned his knee, and then all bloody hell broke loose.  C'MON, THEY DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING????  It was JUST what travel weary people needed to experience.

And while I'm complaining, why can't people respect my personal space while at a baggage carousel.  I swear I have "I don't exist" on my forehead when I'm standing there clearly waiting.  I, unlike 99% of the general population, stay back a step or two, because if someone else has a bag coming out, I'm not going to make them step around me to get it.  Twice, someone came right up in front of me and stood there and there was room for them to go elsewhere.  One lady did it and I stepped right beside her with no personal space to spare.  Perhaps she felt my presence and moved, but more likely she was oblivious.  If everyone would just take a step back and chill out, we could all get our bags in an orderly and respectful fashion.  But no, you'd think they were in line for some grand prize instead of their bag of dirty underwear.  Yesterday in the airport waiting on my bags I was reminded of the movie with the penguins that would say "Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine".  Get me the heck outta there.

No Looking Back

Today has been a somber day.  It started with the next door dog barking 1:00am to 1:30am and again at 5am and 6am.  We are having THE talk today.  But I am tired of bitching about that.

We saw the demolition of the hard work we did in the back yard.  A troop of what felt like a dozen people (less than that, but it felt like a small army) came over to buy our landscaping pavers.  And gazebo.  And some other stuff.  Within two hours.  It just reminded us of how we really don't have many friends here.  A few great ones, but not a small army.  I wanted this to happen, since we paid for this stuff and it's ours, we should recoup a tiny fraction of what we paid for this stuff.  It's just sad to see what took Todd (with a tiny bit of help from me) years to build.

Hmmph.

I'm So Tired

I'm really exhausted.  There are reasons for this.  We get up early every day and we work on stuff around the house related to getting it on the market or the move every minute of the day until we sit down for dinner.  Then I'm ready to go to sleep for a good solid 12 hours.  Ha.

That could NEVER happen.  Not  in this neighborhood.  Not with the windows open.  It just turned warm here over the past week.  It's not blazing-hot-summer here yet like it is across most of the rest of the country.  I think it broke 90 once this past week, and that felt like a massive heatwave.  It was nothing to turn the A/C on for, but it made me think about thinking about it soon.  So we have the windows open over night, and that cools our easy-bake-oven-of-a-house.

Except when karma decides to go all medieval on my ass.  Here is the schedule for yesterday:  1) dog RIGHT next door outside my bedroom window goes all Cujo at 6:53am.  NOT the way I intended to wake up.  Apparently it cared that there was a stray dog milling about driving the first dog mad with jealousy that he isn't free too.  2) the damn rat terrier up the hill decides to bark it's head off last night at 10:30pm when it's stupid owner let's it out.  It's barking for several minutes because I had time to wake from my deep sleep I had drifted into at 10:00pm, walk out to the edge of my patio, and scream at it, TWICE.  I unfortunately woke up Todd and probably several other neighbors, and for that I am sincerely sorry.  The positive is that bitch heard me scream "IT'S-TEEEEEN-THIRTY!!" TWICE.  I KNOW she heard me because she had just said "Petey get in here" in a much more quiet voice than I was using.  I was so worked up I swear I didn't get back to sleep until 3am.

Oh, oh, and then today?  Here's today's schedule:  1) 5:00am, momma and papa birds decide to feed a nest of a billion chirping baby birds I swore were right above my head.  At least that  eventually quiets down, and I know eventually the babies will fly the coop; however I will have flown this coop much earlier.  Much to my delight I wont have to stick around and wait for them to fly away first although if all this dog-barking was not going on, I would have WAY more patience with the birds.  I like birds.  I like dogs.  I hate bad dog owners.  And then?  2) dog RIGHT next door outside my bedroom window does this whimper/whine/bark thing at 6:00am.  Just once.  Next on my schedule?  Call the bitch-neighbor's husband and give him an ultimatum.  They put the damn dog out earlier, say 9:45pm and bring it in prior to 10:00pm, or there is going to be an uprising the likes of which he has not seen before.  His choice.

Good morning... or is it?

Don't Judge THIS Book By Its Cover

I've spoken to no less than 4 real estate agents in the past 4 days.  I have little faith that I will enjoy any kind of engagement with ANY of them.  They speak solely for the purpose of hearing themselves talk.  They must HATE the sound of MY voice because I cannot get a word in edgewise.  I hate to say this, I really do, but I think it's because they happen to all be women*.  My opinion that follows does not apply to the only male real estate agent I have ever worked with, as he was our rock of sanity at an insanely crazy time in our lives about 4 years ago.

I believe real estate agents would make horrible project managers.

Do you know how frustrating it is when they TRY to be interested in ME and ask me questions about my new job, or whatever?  I'm so used to not speaking that my answers are curt, unenthusiastic, and monotone.  I quickly turn the conversation to my needs, because guess what?  I don't NEED a new best friend.  And if I did, it would be NONE of these ladies, I can assure you of that.  Who said I was automatically going with YOU just because we had one phone conversation?  You will know when I am exclusive, when I sign on the dotted line.

Why do I think real estate agents make lousy project managers?  After all, they have to keep a schedule and work with all kinds of people to deliver a unique result in a specific amount of time.  I didn't say they can't deliver the result.  The worst project manager can have a "successful" project.  It's all in how you define success.  How much pain did you have to go through to get there?  How many people were pissed off or stepped on getting there?  Is anyone going to want to work with that person again?

The reason I believe real estate agents are horrible project managers is because:  THEY DO NOT LISTEN!!!  How can you possibly deliver what I want if you won't SHUT UP and listen to my requirements?  You ask  two  questions and presume you know who I am, where I've been, and where I'm going.  Well let me tell you something, sister, you don't know shit.  When you look at me, would you EVER expect that I want..... Chickens?  Really.  I want chickens.  When you look at me, you would never ever guess that, I agree.  And my husband and I are going to have our farm-type property in the country and I will be damned if ANYONE (but the county) is going to tell me how many dogs I can have and that I can't have CHICKENS.  I'll paint my door any color I want.  And god help the person who has a dog I can hear barking.  (No, there will be no rooster.)

Assumptions will always get you into trouble.  Real estate agents should take note.

*Addendum:  I need to adjust my statement about all women real estate agents... because I found one who actually LISTENED!  She didn't interrupt us and she didn't ignore what we were saying!  I am so shocked and surprised.  I think we finally found someone we can work with and who will work FOR us.  Thank goodness.  My faith has been restored.  For now.  I reserve the right to adjust my opinion in the future.

Home Is Where You Hang Your Hat

I feel like we have been searching for "home" for a long time now. We grew out of our house in KS. I miss a LOT of things about our first home, but we needed more space. That house *always* felt like home.

In NV, in our nicer, newer, bigger, better house, it has been my dream home. The kind of house I always wanted to spend my retirement enjoying. It's always felt a bit... maybe temporary is the word for which I am searching. I've loved it, and for me it has felt more like home than I believe it has for Todd. Maybe it's because we aren't crazy about our area. Hell let's face it, we hate our HOA, endure the lot of complete weeds up the hill because the homeowner is psycho, miserably tolerate some of the barking dogs in the area on a daily basis, and I have waged full out war on one dog owner family because they are completely irresponsible furry-lawn-ornament owners in denial about their issue. Hey, they started the war as soon as they left their little terror outside to bark it's head off all weekend and I could hear the little shit when I was INSIDE my own house, with ALL windows and doors shut, even when I was in the most remote corner of my house. Ahhh, but I digress. That shall be a blog for another day. Oh, and we hate our HOA because it's a bunch of old people trying to turn the neighborhood into a literal retirement community, complete with a neighborhood Christmas party, summer picnic, 2+ week European cruise, bunco nights, poker nights, scrapbooking club, bla, bla, bla. All that and my quarterly funds go towards the "courtesy violation" letters they so graciously send for a mouse farting on my front lawn. They can seriously bite me. I guess you know a few of my hot buttons now.

Anyway, our house hasn't felt like home for me in probably a year. That may have something to do with the fact that I lost my job almost a year ago and my life turned upside down and inside out. You think?

As long as I am with my hubby and have my pups, that provides for me a feeling of contentment. A sense of home. Maybe that's why I LOVE camping so much. It's like setting up a temporary little home out in the middle of solitude. Which is really where we should be. I think we are still searching for our spot called home.

ADDENDUM: Upon reflection, I have to admit that we may not know exactly what house is home, but I am damn sure I know where home is.

Oh, I'm Sooo Done!

You may remember a conversation about my volunteering in a previous post.  I admit that it was mostly a one-way conversation, but not totally!  You gave me great feedback, and as a bonus, I thoroughly confused my husband.  That was fun.

Anyway, I am officially going to be done with volunteering in my Professional Association of Lint Filter Cleaner-ers (PALFC) as of the end of June.  I am tired of working with a process that just can't improve.  I give up on trying to force efficiencies with automation.  If I cared, and thought it would be worth it in the long term, or was drawing a paycheck from this association, things would be different.  But they are not, so I'm outta there.  Soon.  I will fulfill my year long obligation, then that is it. 

Because I am the middle person in a process, and I have to beg for the input to my process so that I can give the output to others, and I have NEVER gotten the information in a timely manner so anytime I have anything to do it's always a blazing fire of an emergency, I'm done.  I understand that in a volunteer organization, you can't exactly demand for things to happen.  But who doesn't take pride in what they do, regardless if they are paid for it or not?  Yea, I don't want to work with those people anymore.  And I don't have to.

Glass Half Full -or- Glass Half Empty

Does life suck or is it just a phase?!?  I believe things could get worse.  I mean, I could be living in California, the only state where housing prices have fallen EVEN MORE than where I am.  I heard a statistic today--that housing has fallen 65% in CA.  Thank God I'm only down 50% (sarcasm intended).  But on the bright side we're healthy (for now), and have benefits for which I am very thankful.

Life could be....better.  So much better.  I keep thinking about four years ago and how I wish we had never moved here.  WHY, WHY, WHY did I move?!?  What was I thinking.  Oh yea, that it was a step UP, and that it would be BETTER, and that I was GOING somewhere.  Well, that didn't work out to well, did it?!?  I know, quit beating myself up over it, I couldn't have known, it happened for some reason, bla bla bla.

The bright side:

• I love the dry, high altitude climate--Who knew?!?  However, I can feel myself prematurely aging and wrinkling as I breathe.  Oh wait, that isn't positive.
• The dogs LOVE it out here.  No ticks, fleas, poison ivy, very few mosquitoes, and lots of rivers to go swimming.  Plus the West is just SO MUCH MORE dog friendly than the mid-west.  You just have to visit to understand what I'm talking about.
• I can take my dog into Home Depot.
• I can be in the mountains in 30 minutes.  Or the desert.
• We have the hottest nicest mail lady this side of the Rockies.
• Last but not least, actually most important of all, Tricia.

That's my bright side list of this Hell Hole.

Just A Theory

I went to the grocery store on my way home tonight.  I know, shocker, cause I’m NEVER the one to go—yes, I am a very lucky person.  Anyway, I always get deer-in-the-headlight-syndrome when I’m in there.  I need to look at and touch everything, because there are SO MANY items which I have never seen.  Again, because I am never the one to go.  Neither complaining or bragging about that fact. 

Why did I stop by the grocery store?  Glad you asked.  I have a theory.  I wonder if when someone increases their physical exercise level (aerobic activity), does one’s body actually decrease, umm, its activity level, if you know what I mean.

So I felt like an old person in the check-out line.  Here’s what I bought:

·         A jug of low-fat drinkable yogurt with probiotics

·         2 4-packs of Activia low fat yogurt (including their own special probiotic cultures)

·         Heart healthy whole grain lasagna noodles

·         Fiber One bran cereal (the highest fiber/least sugar one I could find) – they look like Chinese noodles.  Any odds on how bad these are going to suck?

So I’ll see if I’m feeling better within a week.  We’ll see.  Theory in progress here.  God, getting old sucks.

Life

So... I'm bored. In many ways. I'm bored with what I'm doing in many facets of my life.  My gym bores me, so I'm changing this spring.  An association or two I am in are boring me so I am not volunteering as much.  All the tasks I can't get caught up on at home bore me.  The weed pulling I know I will be doing this spring is going to bore me.  My daily commute is really boring and stress inducing.

Thank God for my pups and the fact that my hubby cooks.  He cooks well.  He cooks creatively.  He is an awesomely inventive master chef.  The man is amazing.  He can take a few ingredients and make something that makes me salivate weeks later just thinking about what we ate.  I have very few specialties.  I make a mean gourmet grilled cheese (this ain't your mom's grilled cheese), but I can't just whip up something from nothing.  Thank goodness he's in charge of the food around here, otherwise life might be *really* boring. 

I need to find more time to do fun things, so I get out of this boring rut.  I think a new gym will help immensely and I will ramp up my physical training.  I have to change some things, cause I don't deal well with boredom.  Sorry for the boring post.

Professional Lint Filter Cleanerer (and yes I know that's not a real word)

Let's say that I'm a professional.... lint filter cleaner.  Just for grins.  Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.  And let's say that there is a Professional Association of Lint Filter Cleaner-ers (PALFC).  And let's say that I needed more filters to clean this past summer.  They helped me make connections so that I could get a few more filters to clean, but I really wanted bigger ones.  I am just thankful to have a few lint filters that I am currently responsible for cleaning.

Ok, let's say that I volunteered to do as much as I could to help out the PALFC.  I spent countless hours volunteering.  Then I just got a little frustrated because some of the processes are inefficient.  I could step in and volunteer MORE to help the PALFC improve the inefficient processes.  Oh, did I mention that I get to volunteer with some folks who got the filters that I really wanted to clean?  They got the big shiny new one's.  I have the small old plastic kind.  It just kind of grates on my nerves like cheese, every time I have to see them, but it's not their fault.  It's not personal, but it doesn't help the way I feel, nonetheless.

Oh, and we have our planning meetings at their place, cause, well, that's where the big shiny new filters are, and nobody else came up with any alternatives.  And our association meetings are on the OPPOSITE side of town from me, even further than I want to go.  Let's pick a direction.  Let's say the association dinners are all the way out West.  And I live East.  So I opt not to have that tasty glass of wine that I so desperately want to enjoy at the end of an evening, cause I know what kind of horrendous drive I have and I'm already exhausted before I even arrive for the dinner and presentation.  I fear falling asleep on the way home as much as I abhor drinking & driving.

So here's the dilemma people.  I am TRYING to DECREASE my volunteer responsibilities.  But I am being asked to take on a bigger leadership role.  That means working with those people who get to clean the big shiny new filters even more.

Why am I going to feel bad when I draw the volunteering line and refuse to step across it, even though the PALFC really helped me when I needed more filters to clean?  Why can't I get over the fact that I don't have big new shiny filters to clean?  Why can't I just go East and clean fish tanks?  Cleaning is cleaning....