Let's say that I'm a professional.... lint filter cleaner. Just for grins. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. And let's say that there is a Professional Association of Lint Filter Cleaner-ers (PALFC). And let's say that I needed more filters to clean this past summer. They helped me make connections so that I could get a few more filters to clean, but I really wanted bigger ones. I am just thankful to have a few lint filters that I am currently responsible for cleaning.
Ok, let's say that I volunteered to do as much as I could to help out the PALFC. I spent countless hours volunteering. Then I just got a little frustrated because some of the processes are inefficient. I could step in and volunteer MORE to help the PALFC improve the inefficient processes. Oh, did I mention that I get to volunteer with some folks who got the filters that I really wanted to clean? They got the big shiny new one's. I have the small old plastic kind. It just kind of grates on my nerves like cheese, every time I have to see them, but it's not their fault. It's not personal, but it doesn't help the way I feel, nonetheless.
Oh, and we have our planning meetings at their place, cause, well, that's where the big shiny new filters are, and nobody else came up with any alternatives. And our association meetings are on the OPPOSITE side of town from me, even further than I want to go. Let's pick a direction. Let's say the association dinners are all the way out West. And I live East. So I opt not to have that tasty glass of wine that I so desperately want to enjoy at the end of an evening, cause I know what kind of horrendous drive I have and I'm already exhausted before I even arrive for the dinner and presentation. I fear falling asleep on the way home as much as I abhor drinking & driving.
So here's the dilemma people. I am TRYING to DECREASE my volunteer responsibilities. But I am being asked to take on a bigger leadership role. That means working with those people who get to clean the big shiny new filters even more.
Why am I going to feel bad when I draw the volunteering line and refuse to step across it, even though the PALFC really helped me when I needed more filters to clean? Why can't I get over the fact that I don't have big new shiny filters to clean? Why can't I just go East and clean fish tanks? Cleaning is cleaning....
6 comments:
Cleaning is not cleaning. If it were, you wouldn't care who cleans what filters-big shiny ones or old little ones. You are justified in feeling how you do. We all have to learn to set and keep those boundaries we set. Draw that line in the sand and stand your ground. You will feel all the better for doing so!!!!!!!
Maybe you could just take a temporary break from it all and see if you can find a way to deal better with it.
The only reason I say that is because of course, by showing off what a great filter cleaner you are on a volunteer basis might make them go - Hey we need a new filter cleaner and SHE is fan-fucking-tastic at it. And then you could be cleaning the big shiny filters too.
But I totally get how you feel and I can see how you'd have a hard time dealing it sometimes.
You feel bad b/c you are a very generous person with good intentions. I also know you enjoyed (for the most part) your volunteer time at PALFC and that you learned a lot. But, your first priority has to be you. If it isn't working for you, then you did your time, you tried, move on. You cannot be expected to revamp/improve the entire organization. You do have a life outside of lint filter cleaning. Also? Sadly I think the more you volunteer, the more they try to suck the life out of you.
What the fuck is she talking about?
I'm so glad you are the romantic one, and I am the imaginative one.
A good lint filter cleanerer is hard to find these days.
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