(Some) Siblings Suck

I have a lot of friends who have siblings who cause grief or stress in their lives, both intentional and unbeknownst.  This is a post about sucky siblings.  If you know about this blog, there is nothing mean spirited written here about you.

I count my blessings because I am not in this category.  My family is really great, and every time I support a friend with a witch for a sister, I thank my lucky stars that my family is awesome.  Now don't get me wrong, because it's not all flowers blooming nonstop and birds chirping.  I don't really know my two older brothers; we are virtually strangers.  Since we have become adults, I really don't know them (there was an age gap when we were growing up).  I have only seen/spoken to my oldest brother once in 4 years, at a family function and I didn't really get to talk to him.  I could/should pick up the phone and call him, but I haven't.  So, if anything, my brothers actually have a few things they could bitch about me, and rightfully so.  The good thing is that we have a mutual connection and that is our parents, who we all love unconditionally.

I have friends in situations across the spectrum of sibling issues.  One person has a jealous sister who just can't be happy for anyone else who happens to be in a better place in life.  This kills me, because how could anyone not be happy for their own sibling who got their act together?  Sure, jealousy is natural, but it should be far outweighed by joy for your sibling.  One's own selfish feelings should never be so great that it makes one do or say hurtful things, especially to a sibling!  My brothers are both doing well (from what I hear) and are happy, which is always my hope.  I hope every year that they are doing better and are even happier.  How could anyone want anything less for their own flesh and blood?

I have another friend who has siblings who are just downright inconsiderate.  The siblings have absolutely no idea how much they have hurt this person's feelings, and it just kills me.  This person just wanted to be included in their lives, and not feel like just an afterthought.  It felt as though club membership would never be granted unless there was the physical act of procreation.  To hell with that, I say!  Just because someone didn't produce offspring doesn't mean their feelings are any less valuable.  Communication and inclusion are so important to this person, but it could only be supported one way for so long without reciprocation.

I believe close friends are the family we choose.  We are stuck-or-blessed with the blood-related people in our family, but our friends are chosen.  I have some really beloved friends who are even more close to me than family, and I am so thankful for them being in my life.  I wish every sibling would treat their family members like friends and *act* like you love each other.  If you've got that kind of family, you are certainly blessed.